Saturday, January 27, 2007
A step into the unknown...Today I handed my letter of resignation. A remarkably liberating experience - I highly recommend it!
Don't worry, I haven't gone mad!
The truth is, I have been unhappy for several months. Since coming to Canada, I have found it very difficult to get into my research. Since the moment I got here, I have felt out of place in the lab. I've found the work hard going and have struggled to connect with my coworkers and my supervisor. I found myself constantly at odds with my supervisor, seemingly unable to deliver what was expected of me. Despite working like a dog before christmas, then writing a grant proposal over christmas, my efforts were summarily dismissed as rubbish and not what was expected of a postdoc. Whether the demands placed upon me were realistic or not is a debte for another time.
Anyways, I have been repeatedly told that I am not PI material and questioned (sometimes publically) over my commitment to the project and to my goal of becoming an independent researcher.
After my last position, where I was miserable to the point of being ill, I decided that I wouldn't go through that again. After several weeks of feeling increasingly depressed, I have decided that it's time to move on.
Canada itself is not the problem, indeed I've enjoyed my time here. However, being so cut off from my friends and family back home probably didn't help. The time difference for example made calling people very difficult. I couldn't call in the evening and weekends are always a hard time to get hold of people. When I went home at christmas and just sat in my friend's living room chatting, I realise just how much I missed them all.
So, on to the future! After thinking about it off and on for years, I have decided to apply to teacher training college. Everyone I've spoke to (including current teachers) have been resoundingly positive, some going as far as to say it's a move long overdue. I have had some experience in the past and enjoyed it. Ironically, my time at the sportcentre last year actually showed that I can deal pretty well with kids, including badly behaved troublemakers.
When I told my boss, I really wasn't sure what to expect. To describe her temperament as "mercurial" would be an understatement. I figured the odds were even that I'd either get a hug or steaming mug of Tim Horton's over my head - in the event she was delighted for me, and as I outlined my plans for the future said that I looked happier than she'd ever seen me. We probably had the most pleasant half-hour chat since I got off the plane back in the autumn!
So I shall be returning to England, hopefully before the end of the month, to my parents' basement (as a coworker kindly put it) to start temping work again. Joy. At the same time, friends are trying to organise shadowing for me at the various schools they have contacts with. In that respect I am extremely fortunate. I hope to get at least a couple of different placements sorted.
The boss let me off my contractual obligation to work 2 more months (little point really), however I do have to give lab meeting Tuesday morning. I can't say I am looking forward to that particularly - but lets face it, they can't exactly fire me now can they?
So to all those lovely ladies I've been flirting with (you know who you are!) watch out - Sanescientist is back in town!
Thursday, January 25, 2007
A bit of friendly advice..... to the contestants on American Idol.
By a cheap tape recorder with a microphone and record yourself first. Then don't bother.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
This is news?TV Celebrity chef Stein's dog dies.
I'm sorry, but who gives a fuck?
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Entering my fourth decadeYes, I'm back. I've been extremely poor at blogging lately I know, but sometimes life gets in the way and you just don't seem to find the time.
But anyways, as you can tell from the title, today I reached the big three-o. Guess it's time to grow up soon...
My christmas was pretty quiet. By far the most interesting thing was my flight home. It took three days, after the UK was blanketed in fog. Suffice to say, I spent a day in a nice French hotel and a night on a not-so-nice French coach. No toilets and drivers who were, shall we say, "Parisian" in their attitude toward customer service...
The only plus point is the 6 brand new friends I made on the journey. A mixture of ex-pat Brits and Canadians, we had our first reunion on saturday, to celebrate my birthday! WooHoo! I saw out my twenties in style. I'm ashamed to say that I haven't been so drunk in years.
I blame the shots they kept on buying. After far more than was sensible for a man who avoids liquors like the plague, for good reason, I jumped at the chance to carry on drinking at a karaoke bar. Bad move.
The bar was pretty cool. It was actually a series of private rooms (it would make a good brothel)and we were meeting some friends of friends of friends, who had booked a booth. Having turned up I treated them all to shocking renditions of Guns n Roses "Sweet child o mine" and Robbie Williams "Angels". I promised the ladies in the room that the Robster, whom none of them had heard of, would get them moist. Sadly, I didn't. Any lingering dreams of pop stardom were shattered when I heard my voice over the speakers. Ouch.
Seeing as I didn't know anyone, I didn't feel compelled to stay with our party - whom I wouldn't recognise under normal lighting anyways, and somehow found my self drinking beer at somebody else's birthday party. Then there was the Hen party who pinched my camera - when I finally got it back, the memory card was half full of random shots of people I don't know - and my (clothed) arse - the cheeky bitches had photographed a re-enactment of them stealing my camera from my supposedly secure camera case, whilst I chatted with the bride at the bar! Methinks I need to find a camera shop before I take my camera on any sightseeing tours. The next person to nick it might not return it.
Anyways, I don't remember the taxi drive home, but I do remember an additional stop at the cashpoint (shudder - you don't want to know how much I spent that night). I awoke sunday with a mouth like a sandpit, a throbbing headache and a string of shiny green beads around my neck. Now that's what I call a night out folks!
FOR YOUR PERUSAL