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Saturday, April 23, 2005

Are head transplants free on the NHS?

I'm not one to suffer from hangovers too often - mostly because I rarely drink to excess. Typically a pint of water, 2 ibuprofen and a long hot shower will banish any woolly headedness.

But not this morning. Oh boy, not this morning!

I went out to the pub last night, and decided that my drink of choice would be Budvar. This is the original Budweiser, brewed in the Czech Republic for centuries, until an American brewer decided to mix diluted sheep piss with barley and steal the name. After an unwise amount, it was time for a curry, complete with pints of Cobra. I awoke this morning fully clothed, with my shoes still on, lying atop the bed sheets. And possibly the worst headache I have ever had. Indeed, when I stumbled into the bathroom to get a glass of water and some asprin, I was amazed upon looking in the mirror that there was no outside evidence of the traumatic brain damage I apparently suffered duting the night. I expected at the very least to see evidence of the baseball bat that had apparently thumped me repeatedly between the eyes. Perhaps a tyre track going across my forehead?

I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes. The throbbing in my head allowed me to count out my pulse. After almost an hour there was no improvement. Bugger the instructions, I went and got 2 heavy duty paracetemol/aspirin pills. I decided to get undressed - I got my trousers down as far as my ankles but ran out of steam and couldn't face bending over to unlace my shoes. Fuck it, I thought and just lay back on my bed. It's probably just as well that I live on my own. People may have got the wrong idea.

It took over 3 hours for the pain to subside. I would have cried but that frankly would have hurt also.

So I have learnt my lesson. Time to be more sensible. Don't go for a curry.



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