Thursday, May 26, 2005
So I'm a smart arse...If there is one thing that my parents, friends, former school teachers and pretty much anyone who knows me will agree upon - it's that I am a smartarse. I have always been a gobby bugger, and, God willing, always will be.
RSS feeds have given me a whole new source for inappropiate, sometimes amusing, but generally irritating comments. They are great. I subscribe to the BBC, NewScientist and a number of other general interest feeds and the short truncated headlines, which often bear little resemblance to the story behind them, provide an endless source of amusement for my twisted imagination. So much so, I've started to collect them.
So without further ado, a few favourites.
"Hundreds bid to buy bits of Rover" - I had no idea spare parts were getting so hard to find!
"Retrial ordered over bug deaths" - Rentokill are watching these proceedings very carefully indeed...
"'Hollow' glass to combat spiking" - apparently the inventor is applying for a patent. I'm pretty sure that the pint glass I'm drinking luke-warm coke from constitutes prior-art, and that the "solid" glass that the inventor usually drinks out of is probably a paperweight.
"EU 'won't revive Chinese quotas'" - however Chinese Whispers, Chinese Chequers and Chinese Burns remain firm favourites.
"Latin music case goes to Cuba" - Don't you just hate it when that happens? They should sue the airline for compensation.
"Bets reopen on Potter death" - shouldn't someone tell them that he died in 1994?
"WHO agrees to smallpox research" - Who indeed?
"Fines aim to cut phone 'slamming'" - as long as I can still slam the door on Jehovah's Witnesses I don't care.
"Prisoners 'should get net access' " - this will no doubt be extremely popular on the kiddy fiddler wing.
Feel free to add your own - smart arses of the world unite!
FOR YOUR PERUSAL