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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

The Tuesday Twat(s)

Naughty Sanescientist! No updates for over a week. Unfortunately life happens, weddings, job applications, meetings, away days and journal club, so just a short one. Still, I'm going to fiddle the date on the post form heh! My Blog my Rules.

No. 23 Coldplay's Chris Martin.

Why are Coldplay so fucking miserable? I've just heard some of their latest album, and I want to slit my wrists. Sure it's a pleasant enough ditty but I'd rather play it at my funeral than my wedding. What gets me though, is what does Chris Martin have to be miserable about? He's making babies with Gwyneth Paltrow for fuck's sake! I would be grinning from ear to ear and doing cover versions of WestSide Story's "I feel pretty".

On a related note - who the fuck, outside of La-LA land, names their kid "Apple"? And more to the point, what are they going to name the next one? Pomegranate? Pineapple? Kumquat?

So I am proposing a new wrist band - the "Make Coldplay Happy" bracelet. It will be yellow and pink with smiley faces on it. None of the profits will benefit charities for poor people - instead it will be placed in a trust fund to pay Apple's legal aid when she sues her parents because their gross twattery has guaranteed a lifetime of bullying.




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