SaneScientist

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Tuesday Twat(s)

No. 26. People that answer spam.

Spam and other unsolicited forms of advertising are a microcosm of the free-market ideal. The law of supply and demand in action. Supply enough gullible twats and the demand created by their stupidity will be fulfilled by a plethora of get-rich quick schemes, miracle cures and un-entered lotteries. Economics 101.

Spam exists because it works. It exists because there are enough twats, who through their crass stupidity or their greed (or even better, an ungodly combination of the 2), that answer the emails or the unwanted mailshots that it is still an effective way of advertising.

What gets me, is the sheer twattery required to answer some of these emails. Take the infamous "I need help getting money out of Africa" scams. Basically, some person that you have never heard of emails you out of the blue, "because you have been recommended as trustworthy". They then proceed to tell you a sob story about some terrible tragedy that has befallen them. Then it's the crunch. Somehow the sum of $42 million has fallen into their hands! However, they are unable to steal it - sorry reclaim it - without your assistance. Could you please email them back, and not tell anyone else.

To some people this does not raise alarm bells. Nor does it strike them as a touch unethical that millions of the pounds that Mr Geldoff has worked so hard to get into Africa, is now being taken back out of Africa - with their help!

Of course, none of these emails are legitimate. Whether it is a lotto or a Nigerian money laundering scam, at some point you will be asked for either cold hard cash (usually in the form of an "administration fee" - which is actually illegal under UK gaming laws) or, even better - your bank details!

And what is more, some people fall for this! What pisses me off most about the Nigerian scams, is that when these stupid fuckers lose their life savings, they get a 5 minute spot on local news talking about how these nasty men took all of their money. At no point does any one have the courage to say "why should we feel sympathy? You were quite willing to aid and abet what appeared to be a means of laundering then stealing money from the poorest people on earth. You got what you deserved."

Repeatedly, time and time again we are told "Do not answer unsolicited email". Yet people still do, in the hope of winning a lottey they never entered, making millions money laundering or finally acheiving that low-cost, all night long, 12 inch throbbing erection.

Fuck 'em. Twats.

Labels: The Tuesday Twat(s)