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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The Tuesday Twat(s)

No. 32. People with too much time and access to a phone.

"As soon as we broadcast it, the switchboard was jammed"

What could the slightly smarmy TV exec be talking about? Jerry Springer the Opera on BBC2 perhaps? Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction? Johnny Rotten refering to the British public as "cunts"?

Nope - it was the broadcast of the first in the long running series of adverts using former England footballer Gary Linnekar to promote Walkers crisps. And they weren't ringing to complain - they were ringing to praise Walkers.

I'm sorry, but what sort of sad twat phones into praise a TV advert? Now I'm a big fan of the TV remote control - if something offends me, I turn over or switch off (unless I am researching my next Tuesday Twat - ahem). Nevertheless, I can understand why people sometimes phone in to complain. 99% of the time I think that they just need to get out more and stop whinging, but just occassionally they may have a point. Sometimes, I have also been so moved or impressed by a program, that I have raved about it in work to my friends the next day - and it is conceivable that if I was bed-ridden and friendless, I might just phone the BBC* to say how impressed I was.

Yet the idea of ringing up to praise a TV advert is inconceivable. Sure, I am capable of recognising (and even appreciating) good adverts (at least until they've played the fuckers so many times that I can't stand them anymore). And indeed, if I were to find myself making small talk with an advertising executive, I would be happy (especially after lots of beer) to tell them what I think makes a good advert (after beer, I have opinions on just about anything).

Nevertheless, when watching an advert, my first thought is usually something along the lines of "Heh - I'd rub Factor 30 into her back anyday" or "how long until the programme starts again". It does not involve me grabbing my mobile, dialing directory enquiries to find out the number of the customer services department, then ringing up to praise all of their hard work.

Get a life, twats.

*Note, the chances of anything on ITV being good enough to phone in about is so slim, it's not worth even mentioning.

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