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Thursday, September 29, 2005

Babe magnet


At the sports centre where I while away my evenings, there is a small coffee counter. This is manned by a great girl whom we shall call Claire. She's a hoot. Just this side of unhinged, we get on great and her singing to the TV, juggling with flapjacks and general arsing about helps the time pass quicker. On her days off though, she is replaced by her exact opposite who we shall call Laura. Laura is pleasant enough, but I have managed to get a total of about 12 words out of her (and most of those were in response to the direct question "Have you seen the till keys"). She has perfected the temping stare. That uncanny ability to sit, staring at the floor, unmoving for 4 hours until it is time to go home.

Anyways, Claire and Laura are friends and I'm told it is mostly a combination of shyness and not a lot of activity north of the neck that accounts for her creepy silence. This evening, Claire came in to work sniggering.

"Laura asked me on the bus if you have a girlfriend".

Oh, christ I thought. I'm sure she's lovely, but she is SO not my type. I envisaged even more uncomfortable evenings. But it got worse.

"Apparently, her mum is really lonely".

Oh for the love of God....



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