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Friday, September 30, 2005

Pah! Smelly fingers for nothing!

The strategy seemed brilliant. At 2am in the middle of the week (statistically the quietest time according to Walkers), take 17 carefully collected codes off Walker's crisp packets. Open 17 identical browser windows, fill in the codes and my contact details 17 times, then press submit 17 times in less than 5 minutes.

Needless to say I haven't won an IPOD mini. I didn't actually want one, since all of my music is in WMA format, but I could do with the £120 it would fetch on the Amazon sellers site.

Oh well, back to selling my body to workmates' mothers.

Apparently Flight Attendents (trolly dollies for the less PC) have urged a boycott of Jodie Foster's new movie, since it portrays them as uncaring. More militant members have suggested standing outside cinemas and poking cinema-goers in the eye with their mascara pencils or bashing them over the head with their handbags. By not wearing 2 cms of greaseproof makeup, it is believed that no one will actually recognise them. Fenale flight attendents haven't yet decided if they will join their protesting male colleagues.

I thought the newspaper silly season was over? Apparently, the Danish Airforce have paid Father Christmas compensation because 2 of their low flying jets frightened one of his reindeers to death. I smell a rat and suspect that this is a hoax story - Danish Airforce?



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