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Monday, September 12, 2005The Tuesday Twat(s)No. 34. The Donner kebab. Pinched from here! To the dismay of students and lovers of beer all over, I am humbly nominating the donner kebab for a Tuesday Twat award. What! I hear you cry. I know - it pains me too. It has to be said that I indulge myself in one of these late-night delicacies on occasion myself, however as someone who typically eats small amounts of meat once a week on average, it must be noted that I usually regret it. Leaving my gastric shortcomings aside, I have other reasons for nominating this innovative edible use for "dodgy looking" mutton. Namely the kebab and it's partner in crime, the soggy french fry, is directly responsible for the demise of that world-famous gastronomic delight - the chip supper. Once upon a time, every highstreet in the UK would have a Chip shop (the "Chippy" in the local vernacular), serving chunky chips - thick cut lumps of potato, fried to crispiness on the outside whilst still being fluffy on the inside. To accompany this most British of delicacies one would typically have a piece of battered fish, or perhaps a pie. Condiments vary from the simple (salt and vinegar) to the elaborate (mushy peas) to the uniquely Northern (gravy or curry sauce). But, no more. Last week, the final chippy within 2 miles of my apartment closed down - to be replaced by a kebab house. The chips have been replaced by skinny, greasy fries that McDonalds would be ashamed to serve. Add vinegar and you end up with an acetic acid soaked mush. The glass fronted heating cabinets that used to house fried cod, battered savaloys and meat and potato pies, now house fried, dripping battered chicken. Sitting behind the till a large lump of brown... stuff... rotates slowly in front of a grill precisely tuned to keep the meat just hot enough to halve the growth rate of E. coli. So, look over on the right sidebar and add your voice. Vote the Kebab as a Tuesday Twat. You know it makes sense. Poll result. Those in favour 15. Those against 8. Those just testing the poll works 5. Motion carried - Kebabs get a Tuesday Twat award. Thanks everyone for voting. Labels: The Tuesday Twat(s) |
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