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Monday, October 03, 2005

That's so sick, it's not even funny.

Warning, the post below is really disgusting. Consider yourself warned.

Friday night I had the misfortune of seeing something so gross, I almost threw up.

Late in the evening, the security guards who patrol the sports centre usually pop in for a brew and a chinwag and a quick look at the footie scores on the TV. Friday evening, the conversation turned to amusing videos downloaded onto mobile phones. The duty manager showed us her collection - basically a load of animated cute cartoon animals saying the word "Fuck" a lot. Not exactly Monty Python, but I laughed politely. Then one of the guards pulled out his phone. Now I don't like to judge people solely on their looks, but lets just say that I wouldn't be happy if I caught him hanging around a school playground in a large overcoat and sunglasses.

The first clip he showed us was pretty tasteless. It a cockpit video of US forces shooting running men, allegedly "Iraqi terrorists". I wasn't impressed, and suggested that it was no wonder so many in the muslim world hated the US. My unspoken implication that he was no better than the sick fuckers exchanging graphic photos in exchange for porn flew straight over his head.

The next video was worse. It started off as a hardcore video clip. I'm not prude by any stretch of the imagination, and frankly each to their own I say. There were no customers around, and all of the staff were watching so there was no danger of anyone blowing the whistle and getting us into trouble. Anyways, I had enough and started to move away.
"No watch. This bit is really funny".
I expected one of the girls to sneeze and bite one of the bloke's balls off or something.
Nope his definition of "Funny" involves defecation into someone's mouth. It happened so quick, I didn't have time to turn away. For a heartwrenching moment I thought I was going to throwup there and then. I tasted bile.

Despite me telling him to shut the fuck up, he continued to give a commentary on the rest of the clip, which got even worse (and no I won't describe it).

That isn't funny. Not in the slightest, and why he thought I would find it so is beyond me. Basically, he gets off on that sort of thing. Fine, each to their own. But unless someone tells you they like that sort of thing - show a bit of discretion eh? And if he is around during the children's lessons, I shall be watching his sightlines closely.



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