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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Tuesday Twat(s)

No. 42. Worcester Magistrates' Court

It seems that the government's war against chavs anti-social behaviour, has fallen foul of the fashion police. In a breath-taking example of sheer twattery, Worcester Magistrate's Court didn't realise that the lawyer defending 18 year old thug Natasha Hughes was taking the piss and trying it on when he said that she shouldn't be fitted with an electronic tag because she liked to wear skirts and it would look stoooopid.

The vicious little cow was placed under a curfew order after being charged with grevious bodily harm. Part of the deal is that she must answer the door to the police whenever they call, to ensure that she is tucked up in bed under her fake burberry duvet after dark, instead of roaming the streets lowering the house prices. When she failed to answer the door to the police late one night, she was hauled in front of the magistrate with the recommendation that she be fitted with an electronic tag to ensure compliance. In what can be only described as breathtaking cheek, she claimed that she liked to wear skirts and so shouldn't have to wear an ankle bracelet.

"I didn't want to wear a tag because they are really bulky and embarrassing."

Her defence lawyer went further,
" She wants to wear skirts, not trousers, which would cover the tag.
"Perhaps she could arrange for a doorbell that could be linked to her bedroom."

The judge agreed!

What the fuck? Defendents get to choose their punishment now? What next, should we let the prisoners choose the colour of the jumpsuits they wear to court? Maybe they should be allowed to wear burberry with blinged up handcuffs. Rumour has it that BBC1 are contemplating a makeover show presented by Trinny and Susannah - "What not to wear to court". Or how about "Queer eye for the remand prisoner"?

So to Worcester Magistrates for making the law a total arse - take this Tuesday Twat Award and display it prominently under the Crest in the Court room.

Pasty legged Natasha Hughes who really ought to wear trousers.




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