SaneScientist

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Tuesday Twat(s)

No. 69. The inventor of the mobile music phone speaker.

I confidently predict that there will be a special place in hell for the twat that decided to marry a mobile phone and an MP3 player, then beef up the speakers. In only a few short months, my daily commute has changed from a chance to quietly reflect upon the day's events, whilst appreciating the subtle bouquet of my fellow passengers' body odour into a deafening assault on the ears from some gob-shite's music player.

It was bad enough listening to the muffled boom boom boom of some dickhead's iPOD, as they destroy the last hair cells remaining in their cochlea by listening at full volume - now they have speakers. I know that when people first started buying "Ghetto Blasters", some anti-social arseholes would sit in public places and share their music with the world, but the quick arrival of the Sony Walkman personal stereo soon killed the idea of lugging a stereo system the size of a small suitcase around. Either that or Mr Spock's nerve pinch in Star Trek IV scared more people than I thought...

However, these are already portable. And take a look at the offenders. They fall in to 2 camps mostly. Schoolkids, who are by definition anti-social little animals with questionable musical taste and Scum. On my daily route, it's schoolkids on the way to work and Scum on the way back. Try telling the kids to turn it off and you'll just get a mouthful of abuse. Try telling the Scum to turn it off and they will smile, having finally provoked a potentially violent confrontation with someone. Says a lot about their self esteem I suppose that they live for a fight, but there you go.

Unfortunately, until wearing headphones becomes cool again or someone develops a remote control similar to the ones you can buy to turn off pub TVs, I don't see it getting any better soon. I might have to invest in an MP3 player of my own with sound-supressing earphones. An alternative might be to start playing Barry Manilow at high volume myself. Or perhaps that really irritating high-pitched squeal that only the most youthfull in society can appreciate.

Labels: The Tuesday Twat(s)