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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Tuesday Twat(s)

No. 75 Luciano Mares

BBC News

Yes - the Tuesday Twat is back!

And here is a classic!

Nothing quite beats seeing somebody being needlessly cruel - then seeing it backfire spectacularly!

OK, so you have a mouse infestation. You finally manage to capture one of the little buggers. So what do you do?

A) Take the mouse for a nice long drive, then chuck it in a hedge somewhere, confident you've seen the back of it?

B) Humanely kill it - easily done, HM Government's approved method is to break its neck. Equally effective and just as painless as long as you get it first time is to wallop it with something heavy. Mice are vermin, but no need to be nasty about it.

C) Chuck it on the bonfire?

Well guess what this sick fuck did? One assumes the mouse eventually perished - in a lot of needless pain. But it got it's own back - the flaming rodent raced back into the house - and promptly set it on fire, destroying it and everything in it. Sadly, Mr Mares was safe outside.

Call me a cynic, but if Mr Mares was a 13 year-old, he would be branded a sick little hooligan, and he and his parents would be booking weekly appointments with a child psychologist for the next 20 years. But Mr Mares is 81, so he'll probably get away with it. What's next, dragging unwanted puppies beind his pickup truck? Skinning kittens with a blunt potato peeler because he can't find a burlap sack, a brick and a deep enough pond?

I really hope the insurance company refuses to pay ou!




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